Is your God too small?

 Who is this that even the wind and waves obey him?

Last week we went on holiday to the Suffolk coast. Usually one half term of dealing with Alice's poor sleep and Harry's need for order is enough and by the time a school holiday comes around I am ready to retreat (usually to my parents' house) and recuperate. By the time we arrived at our holiday cottage I had tied my heart up in knots of weariness and anxiety. Harry relaxes almost immediately at the seaside, but Alice was coughing and not sleeping well and not eating, and those knots were getting pulled tighter.

I had taken with me a book called 'Grace People' by Michael Baughen, a really wonderful book which goes through God's promises and shows how the whole Bible ties together into one story. I reached chapter three, all about God's 'creation covenant', the promise he makes after the flood:

As long as the earth endures, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.

  (Genesis 8:22)

At home in my kitchen I have a verse from Isaiah pinned to the wall. When I first read it, it struck me as so beautiful. Recently, I have to admit, my eyes have skimmed it but my heart hasn't responded. I have been too busy carrying worry around.

Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:3-5

As I read Michael Baughen's explanation of God's promise to sustain creation, of the magnitude and power and merciful, faithful love behind that promise, my heart began to lighten. He goes on to talk about other parts of the Bible that show God as the creator and sustainer of the world and all it contains. Then he comes to the New Testament and shows how this theme continues:

Through him [Jesus] were all things made... he is sustaining all things by his powerful word. 

John 1 and Hebrews 1

Hang on, he is sustaining- he's doing it right now. The waves are crashing on the beach, the sun is rising and setting, the blossom is out on the trees. Jesus is sustaining me and my family even as I am busy doubting it. He is sustaining the whole world, of course he knows my little girl needs to eat, and how easy for him to help.

And once again I experienced that peace that Jesus not only promises but actually delivers, that comes to me when I open his words in the Bible and open my heart.  It surprises me and delights me every time. Suddenly it was easy to trust. I just need to keep going back every time those knots begin to form.

Easter bunnies

Whenever there is a sunny but cold spring day, my thoughts turn to chocolate eggs. My childhood Easters were full of breezy days rolling hard boiled eggs down hills to break the shells, (how did my granny get them quite that difficult to crack?) hot cross buns on Good Friday, church and of course far too much chocolate. Lots of aunties and uncles means lots of eggs. We would line them up along the top of Granny's piano and they were not to be opened till Easter Sunday. I have to say, though, I don't remember quite so many bunnies. They are everywhere now, all over pinterest and the shops.

The last few years, I have enjoyed recreating these childhood moments with my own children, and creating new traditions too. I have a photo of Alice just after her operation, in her pyjamas, painting eggs. This year, despite life being a bit calmer for once, I simply haven't got round to it. Perhaps it is because we were away last week and are away again now, perhaps I have simply been distracted. We haven't painted any eggs. We haven't made an Easter tree. We haven't made a resurrection garden (although there is still time for me to raid my mum's cupboards and dig up my dad's garden). And I am a bit disappointed with myself, because I have missed an opportunity to surround my children with images and words of Christ and what he has done for us.

Because they are surrounded by messages about Easter. Messages about cute bunnies who may or may not deliver chocolate. Messages that say 'are you ready for Easter' meaning 'have you bought enough eggs, preferably in our shop?' Messages that say it's not really about Jesus. Getting ready isn't really about meditating on the amazing loving sacrifice of the cross. And yes, I know it's the way of the world, but I don't want it to be the way of my children's Easter experience.

It's not that we haven't done anything. We have watched the Easter story on dvd, we have eaten hot cross buns and talked about the cross, we have done a simpler version of this (we ended up calling it Easter buckets for some reason!) I don't think for a minute they completely understood the message, but it doesn't matter- we talked about Jesus and made Easter about him. And I think I am getting better at 'gossiping Jesus'. I can't remember where I read that phrase, but it is all about this:

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Deuteronomy 6: 6-8

We have had a picnic and talked about that picnic that Jesus had where he fed all those people from one boy's packed lunch. (Nicked that idea from a lovely book called 'Bake through the Bible'!) On the beach last week, we talked about who made the sea and the sky; we made sandcastles and I told them about God's promise to Abraham that his children would be 'more than the sand on the seashore' (Genesis 22).

Still, I have missed an opportunity to make Easter big and bold and a beautiful celebration. Chocolate is yum and bunnies are cute but only Jesus has a plan to save us from death. Next year I intend to decorate my house from top to bottom and celebrate in style.