I don't want to talk about it...

I have not kept the good news of your justice hidden in my heart; 

I have talked about your faithfulness and saving power

Psalm 40

When I started to write this blog I wasn't at all sure, beyond the first few posts, what I would write about. It's not easy to talk about faith. I want to write in a way that invites many people to read, not just those who already believe what I believe. I thought I would stick with safe topics, so as not to upset anyone, keep it cosy and fluffy. But I am realising that life is not fluffy and neither is most of the Bible, and that I am not doing anyone any favours by doing that. So I am going to try and tackle some topics that I'd rather avoid. It won't be comprehensive but from a personal viewpoint. I am not a Bible scholar just an ordinary person living out my faith. I intend to be completely honest about my own struggles too. Messy faith.

I meet up once a week with some friends to study the Bible. Currently we are studying Revelation. It's a challenge although also an encouragement. It's like having a heavenly light shone on the world to see what's really going on (although it's a bit like reading code!) But it isn't a comfortable or easy read. One of the topics that has left me feeling uncomfortable is God's judgement.

We don't like to talk about it do we? I don't anyway. We want to hear about a God of love not a God of judgement. We find it hard to see through his eyes why judgement is even necessary at times. We aren't all that bad are we? And as for going up to family and friends and telling them that judgement is coming, well, I just don't feel right doing it.

A couple of things. Firstly, with judgement comes justice. And surely we all agree that justice is good.
And despite my tendencies to want to justify myself and claim to be 'not that bad', the more time I spend with God, reading his words, the more I realise how much I need his forgiveness.

 Time for some honesty. I didn't become a Christian overnight, I kind of grew into it. And this deal of God judging people, this heaven and hell thing, was nearly a deal breaker with me. I could understand why he would need to judge dictators and murderers but my family and friends- really? God solved my dilemma by asking me a simple question. Do you trust me?

For those of you who think I am weird for saying God spoke to me, it wasn't an audible voice but just an impression that landed on my heart. I remember that moment as clear as day.

And the answer was, and is, yes I do trust him. Look to Jesus and you see the kind of judge we have.
 
In chapter 8 of John's gospel the religious leaders bring before him a woman caught in adultery. They have judged her already and are all ready to stone her. But Jesus, the only one qualified to do so (as he points out to them), does not condemn her. Go and read it. It's beautiful.

Jesus, who from the cross, dying a painful death he did not deserve, prayed 'Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.' (Luke 23:24).

There's a famous story about kids in Sunday school who think the answer to every question is Jesus. Well once again I think the kids have got it right. For me, the answer always is- Jesus.