I don't know about you, but for me Christmas can highlight all the things that aren't right in my life yet. Perhaps it's because of the expectations raised of happy cosy family Christmases around the fire; perhaps it is simply the passing of another year.
Normally in advent I focus on the different elements of the Christmas story and the characters within; this year, I have been thinking of what it means for us to wait now, what it means to find God in the waiting. That seems to have been the theme of my year!
I bought myself another advent book. No excuses except I love books. It is called 'Those Who Wait' by Tanya Marlow, and is the imaginative retelling of four stories from the bible- Sarah, Isaiah, John the Baptist and Mary. * This book can be read over advent, one chapter a day, but could also be read any time of year. I have found it impossible to stick to one chapter a day; I have wanted to devour it and yet to savour it at the same time. The author knows from her own life the pain of waiting and also shares a little of that story at the beginning. She writes with compassion and humour. She encourages us to lean into the waiting and to see the bigger picture:
Behind every wish that we'd get a hospital appointment soon, there's a wish to remain healthy. Behind that wish to be healthy is a desire to live forever with healed, whole bodies. When we're waiting for the kids to stop fighting, we are also waiting for an end to all wars. While we wait for a promotion, we're also waiting to be respected and known entirely, using our gifts for the glory of God.
We spend our lives waiting.
...
Deep in our core, we long for wholeness, heaven and the incomparable beauty of seeing Jesus face to face.
We wait for Jesus.
We can't help it.
(Tanya Marlow, Those who wait) Between the end of the Old Testament and the New Testament was quite a wait- a few hundred years- but there were people to be found in Israel quietly waiting. People like Zachariah, who, the Bible tells us, was a man who loved God and did his best to serve obediently. But - but- his hope for his own circumstances had grown cold. That wasn't surprising, he and his wife were well beyond the age of expecting children- and it is a hard road to walk, knowing God could but doesn't answer a prayer. More than that though, his belief that God could had grown cold too.
In the big picture, God is about to break the centuries-old silence. His messenger Gabriel is here to tell Zechariah that God is about to keep the promise made at the end of the Old Testament- that an Elijah figure is coming to clear the way for the Messiah himself, and that Zechariah is going to be the dad of that man! But first, he speaks to Zachariah by name, and assures him that his prayer- the prayer of his heart for himself and his wife- has been heard. God could have had the angel rush straight to the earth-shattering, history-changing news of the Messiah and his herald, but first he takes the time to minister to one heart. And among the amazing predictions made about this child there is the line 'he will be a joy and a delight to you'. An old couple get the chance not only to be part of God's amazing plan but to delight in their own child.
Zechariah had nine months of silence in which to contemplate the power and goodness of God. And by the end of them, boy did he have faith! He could see how God was about to fulfil all those wonderful old testament promises. What a changed heart.
I am beginning to see that the waiting is the thing- this life of faith is more about waiting than we like to admit. It's hard. So many of the things we long for are not guaranteed. They are, I believe, masking a longing for heaven and the things of God, but to deal with our lack in the here and now by saying 'It will be ok in heaven' is often beyond us- well, me at least, It has to be a work of the Spirit.
But He can do it. He will do it, if we lean into Him with our longings, our hopes (no matter how cold) and dreams (no matter how shattered). He will make our hearts long for His kingdom, and in the meantime dance in His presence, And who knows what blessings and answers he will bestow on you on the way.
May you know that your prayer has been heard. May you know Him in the wait.
(Read Luke chapter 1 for the story of Zechariah)
*The stories are very true to the text and she has included notes on how she made the choices she did)
